AT4W Redux
by Heisei255
Summary: One day I got a package and when I opened my life changed. Now I must burn bad comics everywhere, because the is Atop The Fourth Wall Redux


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Atop The Fourth Wall, all rights go to Linkara. This is just an idea I had so please enjoy.

This is my VERY first fanfiction so please don't say anything bad. Anyways this fic was inspired by The Fullmetal Comic Reviewing Alchemist by The wielder of the blue flames and with that out of the way let's begin. HENSHIN!

Star Trek #1

*Yawn* "Well time rewatch The Atop The Fourth Wall Plot Compilation again." I said to myself.

'The name's Kyle and it's been a few years since AT4W ended and I really wish it didn't but all good things must come to an end'

*Knock-Knock* " Huh..." I then answered the door and saw a package, "What's this" I asked as opened the box.

It was a huge purple book, I opened it and it had a message on the first page.

"To anyone who finds this, I hope it is one of my decedents. I leave this guide behind for you and you alone to open it and gain the powers and equipment of the Fourth Wall. After reading this message, you shall gain the knowledge of what you have to do. You are not alone in this as well. I have left some people to help you with this task. There is no one else I trust with this and I know you'll do well.

Oh, by the way you'll also get my memories just to get you started.

Take good care of yourself and remember to make bad comics burn!

-Signed Linkara.

P.S. The comics are in the book in compartments.

"What kind of book is thi-!?"

'FWOOSH!'

I was interrupted by a huge flash of light and my surroundings changed into a white void. Before I could speak, my eyes widened as I suddenly saw images in my mind and heard many voices.

"Hello and welcome to Atop The Fourth Wall where bad comics burn."

"It's magic. I don't have to explain it."

"I AM A MAN!"

"Oh, how I do love owning a spaceship!"

"It's Morphin Time!"

"I... Have had... Enough of... You!"

"Of course! Don't you know anything about science!?"

"I still don't have functioning arms."

"DDDDDUUUUUUUDDDDEEE!"

"Where the hell is my pay-cheque? I've got dames to smooch!"

"Death by the superior being."

"All that he sees, he conquers."

"HHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMAAAAAAANNNNN!"

"With a platinum mask your soul he'll borrow and a clockwork soldier is born and hollow."

"Pollo, you saved me from you... wait."

"ADAMANTIUM RAGE!"

"You magnificent bastard, I read YOUR BOOK!"

"This unit is operational."

"I SAID, YOU'RE STANDING IN MY SPOT SIR!"

"GIVE MY REGARDS TO CABLE, YOU UGLY METAL PIECE OF CRAP!"

"THIS COMIC SUCKS!"

And then it stopped.

I shook my head a few times before I finally looked at my surroundings. The books were still there, the one in my hand was still there and so was the little blue puppet.

...

...WAIT, WHAT!

I jumped in fright when I noticed the little blue thing looking straight at me with its single red eye. It had a square head and body and what had appeared to be a skirt attached to the bottom. It had a grey speaker and a black cross on its body. "W-Wait are you Pollo?" I asked.

"Yes I am." The robot, now identified as Pollo, answered in a synthesized voice with only a little bit of emotion. "It's good to finally meet you, Kyle McGrath."

"Wait... How do know my name?" I asked, curious as to why this blue robot popped out of nowhere and knew who he was.

"I have been programmed to recognize who was my friend's next descendant was and who their relatives are." The little robot spoke as it hovered in the air near my level. "I have also taken the liberty of annualizing the area and your house to get a better sense of your location."

I shook my head as I tried to process what the robot was saying "Can you tell me why?"

"I did it because I must confirm if you are truly Linkara's descendant. And I managed to do it with my internal scanner." Pollo explained.

"So... now what?" I asked Pollo.

"Now we get down to business."

"And that is?"

Pollo just hovered over to the huge book that was discarded on the and opened to one page showing a comic. He then looked at me with his red eye. "Making bad comics burn."

Later...

I was now wearing a red shirt with a burning wall with a hat on top of it. I also wore a brown jacket, a brown hat and come glasses. I then sat down behind a yellow wall on a green futon and looking straight at the blue robot.

"We are going live in three, two and one." Then a red light flashed on the camera.

"Hello and welcome to Atop The Fourth Wall where bad comics burn." I started. "My name is Kyle McGrath and I am here to make sure that any comic book that's so bad be criticized and be wiped of the face of the Earth!"

"So I'll begin by saying that I'm proud to say that I'm a Star Trek fan." I said.

"And while I know nothing about it, there is supposed to be a remake of the film franchise in the future as a prequel. But we must also give a fond farewell to Ricardo Montalban, who passed away a few days before the release of it. And Star Trek fans like me will always remember him in one particular role."

(Showing various clips from Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan. Including Khan himself)

Khan: "I'll chase him round the Moons of Nibia and round the Antrares Maelstrom and round Perdition's Flames before I give him up!"

Star Trek 2 was considered a godsend after the dull special effects-fest that was Star Trek: The Motion Picture. The story is Shakespearean in its writing dealing with themes of age, loss, revenge and sacrifice." I continued before holding a finger up. "Although, a lot of people tend to remember one particular thing about it."

(Now showing a clip of Captain Kirk with an enraged face, holding a communicator near his mouth before screaming the famous line)

Kirk: "KHHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!"

I winced for a moment before resuming my composure. That scream held anger and pure hatred in it that sounded so powerful to me. "Yeah, that's the one." I then held up another finger before pointing out. "But what people also forget is what inspired Kirk to utter his immortal scream."

(Showing a clip of Khan mocking Kirk with eerie music in the background)

Khan: "I've done far worse than kill you... I've hurt you! And I wish to go on hurting you!"

I felt my jaw drop slowly as I watched the scene. It just felt so real to me and it honestly scared me.

Khan: "I shall leave you as you left me... as you left her... marooned for all eternity in the centre of a dead planet..)

I leaned back away from the clip in fear. I knew it wasn't real but it felt real to me! The guy was speaking with nearly no emotion and yet with so much emotion at the same time, to his worst enemy and condemning him to his death in revenge!

Khan: "...buried alive! Buried alive!"

I just sat there, my mouth open, my eyes wide and my mind blown. Just one scene amazed me!

And I loved it!

All I had to say was. "Damn."

I shook my head before turning back to reality. "In any case, Star Trek isn't a stranger to comics, having runs with almost every major publisher as well as several independence. So why is this one you ask?" I then smiled before holding up the comic in question. "Well, we'll find out soon enough! So let's dig into Star Trek #1!" I said as I held up the comic.

(Showing the cover first with Kyle voicing over)

"Before we get to the cover itself, what we see here is one of the essential flaws of the comic: It came out in February of 1984!" I shouted out. "That's almost two years after Star Trek 2 came out! So while it was still of course a popular film, the audience had already moved on at this point in anticipating other things. Like what you ask? Oh, I don't know. How about Star Trek 3!?"

I frowned as I looked at the camera "Yeah! This comic came out a mere four months before Star Trek 3 was released and this comic follows-up on the events from Wrath Of Khan! But Star Trek 3 clearly takes place right after Star Trek 2, making the events featured in this completely not cannon!" I ranted before calming down. "And that's actually fine. Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek's creator, went on record long ago that the only continuity of the series was the Live-action TV shows and movies." I explained before growing again. "But what incentive does a reader have investing in a comic that in a few short months is gonna be something that didn't' really happen."

I just sighed and continued. "Now let's get onto the cover itself. It's busy and annoyingly so." I pointed at the cover which showed a crude art design of the crew. "Having the main cast on the cover in their bridge positions is neat, but of course they're all smushed together to fit everyone within the dimension of the page. And then we have these random blue lines shooting out of Kirk's head. Who knew Shatner's toupee could shoot out death-rays." I joked before taking a closer at the cover. "Actually, taking a closer look it looks like the Enterprise's deflector dish. Although why it's shooting out death-rays is any one's guess. Plus it's so hard to tell that it even is the Enterprise under all that mess!"

I just waved my hand and smiled. "But, let's leave it at that and get on with the main story."

(Now starting the main plot of the comic, showing the first page with Kyle voicing over again)

"We open to to Kirk's standard narration for the opening of the series. I'm skipping it here since frankly if you don't know the 'Space. The final frontier' thing, where have you been for the last forty years?"

(Next Page)

"The comic actually opens on the edge of the Neutral Zone where the star-ship Gallant is patrolling the area and the Gallant actually looks like a humpback Whale from the side! Is this a foreshadowing of Star Trek 4 or just really poor aesthetics in the future? You make the call!" I said dramatically before continuing.

"The Captain's log points out there have been numerous Klingon violations in the Neutral Zone lately. Oh, and the Captain of the mighty Federation Star-ship Gallant? His name is Captain Bearclaw!"

I gave a stern look and joked in a serious voice. "Get Lieutenant Fudgickle up here Ensign Bigglebits!"

(Cut back the comic)

"A crew-member reports seeing an energy-wave but before they could learn anymore, the ship is instantly attacked by Klingon's. And right there we see why it's kind of hard to pull off Star Trek in comic form."

I then show a page of the comic with a very crappy blast. "Supposedly the Klingon are shooting full Phasers here, but the artwork suggests that the Gallant is radiating off energy. And the Klingon ships? There all crowded together, two on top of each-other! Come on Klingons, I know you're paid by the panel time, but could you please scoot over!" I joked/complained.

"Of course they destroy the Gallant but the ship manages to shoot off they're log buoy before they get blasted. On the bridge of one of the Klingon ships the crew celebrates... well most of them anyway. One lone Klingon however is horrified by the fact that they just blew up, you know, their enemy!"

(We cut to the Klingon with the horrified expression and with a thought bubble over his head)

The Klingon cry-baby: "Gods, those poor souls!"

(Cut back to Kyle with an annoyed look)

"Oh come on man! You're a Klingon! You're a freaking warrior culture!" I ranted. "At least say 'That was no honourable way to die!' or some crap like that! I mean what would ya-"

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I was brought out of my ranting when I heard what sounded like an alarm. "Uh, Pollo, what the hell was that?" I asked the blue robot.

"That was the Continuity Alarm." He replied. "When you bring up the continuity of other things into the comic you are reviewing, it will sound off."

"Oh." I nodded before frowning. "Could you turn it off? I think I can handle it from here."

"Very well. But it's not easy to do so. It turns itself on most of the time, whether you like it or not."

"Oh great!" I whined before continuing.

"Okay in fairness, it wasn't until a few years later on the next generation when the Klingons were developed as a warrior society all about honor, loyalty and battle. But seriously, who is this wussy?" I complained. "For crying out loud, if you didn't expect to kill people maybe you shouldn't have taken a job on a warship!"

I then turned the page. "Okay, we switch over to the Enterprise. Kirk's log says that they've returned to earth, but I guess they were using old stock footage of the ship because even with stylization, that doesn't look anything like earth."

(Cut to the page with Kirk narrating)

Kirk: "Captain's log, Stardate 8145.3: Dr. Carol Marcus and Dr. David Marcus... My son... Have returned to the Regula 1 base to continue their work..."

(We cut to Kyle mimicking Kirk's speech pattern)

"Continue their work, alone, with all the dead bodies lying on the station."

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I turned back to the Continuity Alarm and scowled. "Hey! I'm only giving you one warning!" I threatened.

(Cut back to the page)

Kirk..."The Enterprise has returned to earth where I have requested an audience with Starfleet Grand Admiral Stephen Turner, concerning a matter of the gravest personal importance."

(Cut back to Kyle)

"What do you mean Starfleet's not going to reimburse me for my ripped shirts anymore?" I joked to the camera while still impersonating Kirk.

(We cut back to the comic where Kirk is talking to the Grand Admiral)

"Anyway, Kirk is talking to the Grand Admiral how he would like to take command of the Enterprise since Spock is dead.

(Kirk is now shaking hands with the Grand Admiral)

Stephen: "We've taken her away from you twice and you've gotten her back twice. I'd think that's lesson enough even for a Grand Admiral!"

"Yeah! I mean why would we want orders to actually be followed?" I scoffed sarcastically. "I mean what kind of sense does that make?"

"Anyway, Kirk then calls the ship to tell them the good news."

(We cut to the crew on the ship)

Kirk communicating: "Well Mr. Sulu, Let's just say that I was able to make the old man Turner see things my way!"

I shook my head with a raised eyebrow. "Old man Turner? Since when did this become a 1950's teenage sitcom?" I asked myself.

Kirk communicating: "Beam me aboard and inform the crew!"

Mr. Sulu: "They already know sir! I patched you through the ship!"

"Well then, while I've got them, let me tell you about the incredible offers from." I joked again.

(We cut back to the main crew)

Doctor McCoy: "You'll need someone to keep you out of trouble Jim! Request assignment as medical officer!"

Kirk: "Request accepted doctor!"

Mr. Scott: "The engine room's fully operational again sir. I'd like t'tag along and keep her that way!"

Kirk: "My thoughts exactly Mr. Scott!"

I turned to the camera with a raised eyebrow. "Is he gonna be going through the entire crew like this?" I asked myself.

(Kyle is now seated on one end of the couch while a double of him is on the other, now doing a sketch)

"Hello! I'm Ensign Stevens and I'm going going to stay too!" The double greeted with a smile.

The real Kyle was posing as Kirk. "Great to have you aboard Ensign!" I replied with Kirk's impersonation.

Another double appeared. "I'm Lieutenant German and I'm going to be joining you too!" He saluted.

"Um, yes, that's great." I waved with a confused look on my face.

And another double appeared. "I'm Lieutenant Fisher sir and I'm-"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to remember all your names." I interrupted with a raised hand.

(We then cut to Mr. Saavik)

Mr. Saavik: "All stations report secure sir."

Kirk: "Thank you Mr. Saavik! Prepare to leave orbit as soon as I'm aboard!"

(Kyle is seen talking to his double again)

"But we were going to have Shirley's sir." The double complained to his original who was busy looking at a tablet.

"Nope. There's no time for that." I declared before returning to my work.

"And our ships still pretty damaged from Wrath Of Khan." The double insisted with a whine.

I just pointed a pen at him with a stern look "Second star to the right... and straight on till morning." I ordered.

(Cut back to the comic)

"Okay, Kirk reports that they're en-route to section 14 of the Gamma Hydra system." I explained before doing a mock thinking pose. "Hm, there's something familiar."

(We then coincidentally cut to a clip from the movie)

Uhura: "Star-ship Enterprise on training mission to Gamma Hydra, section 14."

"The Enterprise goes to warp... I think, either that or they've suddenly become part of the Reading Rainbow logo." I said as I showed a page of the Enterprise flying through what appeared to be a rainbow in space.

Kirk: "Dr. McCoy was right. I was hiding behind rules and regulations. But now, back on the Enterprise where I belong I feel invigorated... alive... I feel... young!"

I then made a mock thinking pose again. "You know. It's almost like I've heard that somewhere before." I commented.

(We then again coincidentally cut to a few clips from the movies)

Dr. McCoy: "You're hiding. Hiding behind rules and regulations."

Kirk: "... I feel young!"

(Cut back to the comic)

"In his quarters, Kirk is reading from 'A Tale of Two Cities' when Saavik tells him that they're approaching the Neutral Zone. Kirk makes a thrilling speech to his crew members... for some reason." I continued as I showed them the pages.

Kirk: "This is the Captain. Many of the current Enterprise crew have served under me before and many times we've been through death and life together."

"Jeez, there's that nagging feeling again that I've heard that somewhere before!" I commented again. "Someplace better than this maybe?"

(You know the drill. Roll the clip)

Kirk: "Yes, we've been through death and life together."

(Cut to comic)

Dr. McCoy: "More life than death thank heaven."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I love how McCoy says that with a no doubt dead Red-shirt behind him." I muttered before continuing the review.

Kirk: "But it is not the 'old hands' that this message is directed, but rather to the newer crewmen. I was once in your position..."

"Not knowing which airline service to use." I joked as Kirk again.

Kirk: "I know the doubts and fears you must now feel. But the Enterprise crew has never let me down, and I am confident you never will!"

"Oh except for that one time where you all high on spores and left me alone on the ship. Thanks for that by the way." I said sarcastically before continuing.

"A new crew member named Bryce leaves the mess-hall to start her shift, but it turns out Captain Bearclaw's son now serves on the Enterprise. Apparently, Bryce's father also was aboard the Gallant.

(We cut to the comic where Bearclaw's son slaps Bryce in the face!)

Bearclaw's son: "And he'd still be alive if your father had done his job!"

"Then right the hell out of nowhere, Ensign Bearclaw proceeds to slap her!" I exclaimed shocked. Deciding to make a joke out of this to enlighten the mood, I then say in a snappy teenage girl's voice. "Your father killed my father so, like, I slap you!"

(We cut back to the comic where we see a very strange scene)

"And our little bizarre fight scene continues with Bryce kicking Bearclaw in the stomach hard enough to send him flying!" I explained before joking. "Ah, the brave crew of the star-ship Enterprise. Some get into fights and others don't even try to separate them or anything."

"Coincidentally enough, Kirk is walking past the scene and Bearclaw gets knocked into him."

Kirk: "Is it your intention to sit out this tour on my lap, Ensign?"

I then raised an eyebrow before speaking suggestively. "Is that an invitation Captain?" I then regained my composure. "He demands to know who started it and they both respond that they don't know. Yeesh, what a couple of-"

I stopped myself when I noticed something familiar about the scene. "Wait a second! Is this ripping off that scene from 'The Trouble With Tribbles?'" I thought for a moment before I quickly dismissed it with a small chuckle. "No, no, they couldn't be so creatively bankrupt to-"

And just like before, I remembered something that seemed very important to me and I flipped back to the Klingon cry-baby page. "Wait a second! The Klingon captain was Koloth wasn't it? Captain Koloth from 'The Trouble With Tribbles!?'" I realised. So, not satisfied with ripping off Star Trek 2 for inspiration, they decided to dig into the actual TV series for material!?"

I scowled and turned back to the original page I was on. It was for the best, otherwise I would have ripped up the comic right there if I thought about it any further.

It was strange for me. Why was I getting so worked up about this thing?

And how do I know any of these things from the franchise?

Shaking my head, I continued to read "Anyway, Kirk chews them out by saying that they should all be judged as individuals and blah, blah, blah and they go to the bridge." I skipped the page out of boredom. "Saavik reports no sign of Klingon vessels and recommends they raise the shields just to play it safe. Kirk refuses however saying that he wants to lure Klingons out."

I then smiled and joked. "Yes, as if ignoring Saavik's recommendations for raising the shields has ever hurt you before right?"

(As if to kick him in the pants, we cut to see clips of the Enterprise being attacked with it's shields down multiple times causing chaos and mayhem! Even some of the crew members get flung around the rooms!)

I smiled uneasily as the clips ended. "Forget I said anything. Let's just keep Star Trek 2 separate from this comic." I decided before resuming. "The Klingons see the Enterprise approaching and Koloth points out that this is his chance for revenge. Our old pal 'Conan the pussy' once again thinks about how awful it will be and decided to send a warning to the Enterprise."

"Yeah. Betray your people and your way of life to your sworn enemy who you are expressing pity for, for no adequately reason." I smiled before looking away confused at what I just said. "Wait, what?"

"Anyway, the Klingon ships suddenly appear around the Enterprise but they raise their shields before they take too much damage. So for the next few pages we get this pattern: The Klingon ships appear and fire, Scotty says they can't take much more, they disappear and lather, rinse and repeat." I explained getting bored myself. "During this, we see another failure of trying to transition a science fiction series that has fairly unique recognisable ship design to comic form."

"The Klingon vessels only resemble the D7 -class warships. Other times the wings have been flattened out or just completely off model. When the artist has room to draw the ships they look competent enough, even though the dimensions are distorted, but when they have these squished panels and try to cram the ships together they can't keep the ships straight!"

"Also in a foolish attempt at photo realism, we also get this shot of Kirk inked by Rob Liefeld even though it doesn't match the rest of the comic's art!" I complained before getting back to the main plot. "Anyway, Kirk realises the Klingon's attack strategy and blows away some of their ships."

Kirk: "Captain's log, supplemental: My strategy was successful. The Klingon's, thinking us defeated continued their synchronized attack leaving themselves open to a synchronized attack of my own!"

"Captain's log, addendum: Damn I'm good!" I joked before gesturing to the camera. "Denny Crane!"

(Cut back to comic)

"Back on Koloth's ship he's less than pleased by this turn of events."

Koloth: "Damn that Kirk! He is a sorcerer!"

"So, Kirk is Gandalf the Grey to the Klingons?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Saavik: "Two ships have self-destructed. Two ships vanishing sir!"

"Self-destructed? You fired on them and destroyed them! They didn't do anything to themselves!" I pointed out/complained.

"Kirk, deciding to be a dick, chews out Saavik for not knowing how the Klingon ships are appearing and disappearing. He orders a senior staff meeting in fifteen minutes but then we cut to sickbay, where Dr. McCoy is doing what he does best in any episode of Star Trek: Be grouchy!"

"Saavik stops by to talk to him, explaining that Kirk is being mean to her because he misses Spock. All McCoy can say is that she'll just have to deal with it 'till Kirk adjusts."

I stopped and looked at the camera. "So I suddenly realised why they've been ripping off so much of Star Trek 2: Their own scenes are dull and pointless!" I said angrily.

"Of course, despite McCoy's lame advice for Saavik, he takes it upon himself to visit Kirk in his quarters... where he's changing uniform for some reason." I said slowly as I raised an eyebrow. "Didn't he say that the meeting was in 15 minutes? How come Saavik has time to go have a chat with McCoy and then Kirk to change his clothes and then have another talk with McCoy?" I asked myself.

"Anyway, McCoy has dialled up his cranky meter to 50 since now he's yelling at Kirk."

McCoy: "Jim, what the hell is going on here?!"

Kirk: "Explain."

"Why did Paramount give the 'okay' to this thing?" I joked as McCoy.

"Okay, blah, blah, Saavik's not Spock and Kirk has to deal with that fact, call-back to Kirk's earlier chewing out and treating people like individuals, yeah, we get it, can you just move on!?" I yelled to the comic impatiently. This was taking forever and it was so boring.

I quickly turned the page and sighed in relief. "Okay, finally, we get to our meeting which now necessitates a new stardate. I guess by '15 minutes' Kirk meant 'three days from now'." I snarked before continuing. "They talk about what could possibly causing the ships to appear and disappear. Kirk suggests a cloaking device but Scotty immediately shoots that down.

Scotty: "No sir, we cracked that open years ago."

"Yeah, right Scotty, it's not like you'll be seeing another cloaking device in Star Trek 3 or anything!" I remarked.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I snarled, looked around and quickly grabbed what had appeared to be an old fashioned gun. I pointed it at the wall where I thought the Continuity Alarm was. "What did I say! WHAT DID I SAY!?" I shouted at it.

"Kyle. The review." Pollo spoke, trying to calm me down and continue the review.

"Fine." I growled as I set the gun down. "But if that thing goes off again, I'll destroy it!" I then finally took notice of the weapon I just held. "Is that a gun?"

"Yes, but I will explain more about it later."

"Fine." I relented before picking up where I left off. "Saavik says that they detected a strange energy wave and Scotty identifies it as a wormhole. If the Klingons found a way to stabilize it that means they could enter and exit anytime they wanted. Sadly the Enterprise is too underpowered to enter any such wormhole, but Scotty thinks he can jurry-rig the transporter or a shuttle and send people into it."

I gave a deadpanned look to the camera. "Sure. Just send in a few random crew-members into something you can only faintly detect and aren't even certain where they'll end up or in what shape they'll be in after they exit." I then gave a fake smile and a thumbs up. "Makes perfect sense!"

"Of course, Kirk wants to strike back at the Klingons right away, ordering Scotty to deliberately to create an imbalance in the engines. I could point out that that's not how wormholes are supposed to be made, whatever, let's just get on with it." I groaned.

"Saavik requests to come along too, but Kirk says she's already being ordered to go along. McCoy thinks to himself..."

McCoy: "Good boy Jim!"

"...even though I'm not exactly certain why this means he's going to stop being a jerk to her." I muttered to myself. "Kirk also orders Bryce along. Why?... Um... Uh... Uh..." I stuttered to come up with a reason but I found nothing.

The comic didn't even explain why either!

Deciding to move on and forget this embarrassment, I read on. "Er... Anyway, they walk to the transporter room where the engineers are already working on it. For no particular reason, Kirk brings up that Bryce's psychological profile says that she 'remains calm under extreme pressure.'"

"Yeah, which explains why she was stuttering only three panels ago and why her reaction to getting slapped is to kick a guy FIVE FEET IN THE AIR!" I shouted as I face-palmed in aggravation.

"Kirk also tells Uhura to call the council of the Organians. Why? It's something to do with the original series and it doesn't matter. In fact: NONE OF THIS MATTERS!"

I then stopped reading and looked at the camera in anger. "Why am I still reading this?! It's a black hole of blandness, sucking in anything resembling interesting character development and tiny ounces that we get just feel forced!" I shouted before sighing. I just wanted to get this comic over with and it was so agonizingly long!

(Cut back to comic)

"Blah, blah, blah, techno-babble, nothing exciting, multi-mortal reflection sorting, people are beamed away in space suits and FINALLY! Last page!" I yelled in relief as I continued to read. "Kirk and Bryce re-materialize in space and we discover the shocking secret of what's on the other end of the wormhole."

Kirk: "It's a Klingon space station Bryce, with enough firepower to destroy the Enterprise, and anything else they choose!"

( Dramatic cue!)

...

...

'Twitch'

"That's it?" I asked lowly as I felt my twitch and my temper bubble. "That's the big shocker?" I looked at the camera and asked in a dead voice. "A space station capable of destroying anything they choose?"

...

Pure silence fell upon the room as I quietly closed the comic book and leaned towards the camera. "Kirk, I hate to break it to you, but the reason that they call a 'station' is because it's STATIONARY! IT DOESN'T MOVE! SO IT CAN'T REALLY ATTACK ANYTHING CAN IT?! AND DON'T BRING THE DEATH STAR INTO THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS STAR TREK LOGIC! NOT STAR WARS LOGIC!" I screamed into the camera in rage. I never felt so angry, so frustrated and so annoyed by something so little in my entire life! But this comic managed to do it!

I then picked up the comic and held it up for the camera so the audience could see it clearly. I then said three words that would soon change the world.

Three words that would change my life.

Three words.

"THIS COMIC SUCKS!"

If Pollo had a mouth, he would be smiling right now. 'He is just like you Linkara.' He thought as I summed up the comic.

"It's got continuity issues up the wazoo, the artwork is dull and crowded and the writing is snatched by other, better material!" I finished as I held the comic angrily. "I mean, what could they possibly hope to achieve by ripping off Star Trek 2? I mean, why would they-"

BEEP! BLIP! BLIP! BEEP!

I snapped out of my ranting as I heard multiple beeping and blips coming from a small rectangular device. I picked it up, held it up to the comic and opened it. As I did, I slowly moved it around the comic as the device made more noises.

I then felt my eyes widen. "My god!" I said aloud and looked at the camera. "The tricorder function on my Nintendo 3DS is picking up some strange neutrino emissions from this comic! The particles are... organic in nature!" I said, astonished before I realized something. "My god! This comic... is actually becoming... alive!" I gasped.

"Yes Kyle McGrath."

I felt my blood turn to ice and looked to where the deep voice came from.

The comic book!

"GAH!" I yelled and threw the comic away. But to my surprise, the comic started hovering in the air.

"I have been draining the life from Star Trek 2, feasting off of its quality!" The comic explained before it glowed with a rec hew. "Now I'll drain even your life-force and there is nothing you can do to stop me!"

I stared at the comic in both wonder and fear. As soon as I heard what it intended to do with me, I snapped out of my frightened state and scowled.

If that comic wanted me, then by all means, come and get me!

"You're going down!" I growled with a raised fist. The comic leaped at me and clung onto my face, muffling my angry yelling! The two of us mumbled swears and gibberish at each other.

I then threw it off and pulled out the gun and clicked it.

"You can't hurt me with that thing!" The comic scoffed. "There's not even anyway of loading it!"

I just smiled as I held the gun. I moved my finger to the trigger.

And pulled.

'PEW!'

A red energy bullet shot out of the gun and flew quickly into the comic, hitting it dead on! The comic gasped, made noises of pain and fell to the floor.

I walked to it, clicked the gun again and pointed it at it again, ready to finish it off.

But not before it said its final words.

"But how!?" It asked. "You have to explain it!"

I raised an eyebrow mockingly. "Explain it? I repeated. "It's magic. I don't have to explain it!" I said before shooting it again.

'PEW!'

And that ladies and Gentlemen was chapter 1 of AT4W Redux.

I hope you enjoyed that!

If you have any questions or thoughts let me know.

Please Read and Review

This is Kamen Rider Heisei reminding you that FanFiction will never die, later.

(And for those who stuck around for the end, here's an end scene)

I climbed back on to the green futon and looked up to the ceiling. I turned my head to the right side to show the camera I had burn marks on me. "No... no, you can't get away!" I wheezed. "From hell's heart... I stab at thee! For Hate's sake... I spit my last breath at thee!" I smiled evilly as music played in the background.

Then stopped and I looked at the camera. "See, even I can do it. It's not that hard."


End file.
